Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Many things happened...

...bad or worse. As for this whole year. And I´m becoming tired of it and my inner environment knows it very well. 

I start to see very clearly connection between my physical and mental state. As things go by in good or normal way - even if I am in big hurry and days are manic (you´ll be suprised, but I love these days. I have no time to think about small, unimportant things and even about my pain, when it´s low) - I´m ok, nothing hurts that much to be limiting for me. But when all goes wrong from my point of view, when I´m under pressure or I don´t feel comfortable at all, rheum takes big advantage of that. 

I know many of you experience that, but I am just discovering those rules of behaving of that stupid stupid stupid disease. 

And what trusts me in that I am right is that I have seen my rheumy last week. My blood tests were really good, much better, CRP was only 9!!! And two months before it was over 50. And I also feel good. Rheumy was really glad, smiling all the time, that she doesn´t see often people get that better from low dose of methotrexate. Also told me that my wrists and knees are a bit more movable since the last time.

So, my disease clinically looks great and under good piece of control, I felt great. Now I´m not ok in my mind and emotions, and my hands, back, hips and feet hurt, I feel tired, I have fever, and not ok at all. 

So things are getting complicated. 

I am thankful to great God to have all of you. I keep reading your blogs in my RSS, also older posts, your facebook pages, twitters... I love that age, because of possibilities. I can´t imagine how lonely I would feel without the internet.